Where America's day begins

Read more

The Reverend Billy Talen

Alright ladies and germs. It’s finally here, the day of forgotten elections. Well, I guess if you were the local collegeville barber, which also means that you are running for your sixth consecutive term as mayor of this shithole, I guess it would matter to you. I mean, who really has an election on off year? I mean serously.

What, what’s that? New York city is holding its general election today also? Is it? Oh, well, I’m glad I sent that absentee ballot in then.

Yes, that’s right, I registered to vote back home. No offence to Mike Vereb and all those local dandydates running for ‘office’ here in past-still’Vania, but I care more about sending Bloomberg back to city hall than sending whoever that intrenched barber is back to the converted 7-11 that is the Collegeville municipal building. Though, despite my recommitment to the Empire state, the commonwealth of PA has yet to realize that I have no standing to vote in this place and has sent me three voter registration cards since I sent my first primary absentee ballot (on which I wrote in my metal-music and cat obsessed friend Dan for the democratic candidate for mayor.)

Sadly, Dan didn’t win and I was forced to chose between the other candidates including the Reverend Billy Talen, a minister who attempts to rid banks of their evil by staging mass exorcisms in the lobbies of their headquarters.

Also I could have voted for one of the many single issue candidates like Jimmy McMillan, the founder and likely-lone registrant of the ‘Rent Is too Damn High‘ party. After much consideration, I decided to stick with Mikey Bloomberg.

To be serious, I am voting for Bloomberg over Thompson for a number of reasons, his experience, his record and his preparedness for the job, but one specific one sticks out in my mind.

There once was a neighborhood Public High School on the upper east side, Julia Richmond High School. As far as I can tell, it never functioned at a level befitting the standards of City Schools (or more likely, those well-to-do upper east siders who sent their kids to private or out of neighborhood public schools). After years of declining test-scores and such, the city shut the school down. The school’s fractured corpse now houses numerous small schools — that largely serve out-of-neighborhood or special needs students.

The ‘complex,’ as it came to be known, became a political third rail. Any public official who came to support the status quo was seen by Upper East Side voters as not looking out for the neighborhood. Those public officials who called for its closure or reconstitution as a ‘neighborhood school,’ exposed themselves to charges of racism or class-ism as the complex came to serve mostly low-income and minority students.

Admitting a quagmire, local Upper East Side parents and a few local officials put together a campaign to open a new neighborhood public High School. The campaign made tracks and eventually a high school was to be opened. In around 1999, at a rally outside of the proposed site, in walked Board of Education President Bill Thompson who, with words drenched in the sweat of political ladder climbing, congratulated those gathered on what “we’d” accomplished. Bill Thompson was no part of this endeavor other than as a retrospective leech of its grassroots appeal, which would turn into a nice foundation of Upper East Side support come elections in ‘01. I was there and it made a huge impression on me, even at young age. All together, Bloomberg and Thompson aren’t so far apart in terms of their opinions, but as character goes, it’s a clear choice and that’s who I’m sticking with.

Though, leave it to Rudy Giuliani and his budding Gubernatorial bid to nearly ruin it for me. True to form, the main theme of Giuliani’s endorsement of Bloomberg was ‘do you really want to go back to the days of Dinkins?’ It isn’t a coincidence that, in front of an audience consisting of mostly Brooklyn Orthodox Jews, Giuliani connected one black politician to the one at the helm during the Crown Heights riot. Racially tinged pandering? I think so, and so did the New York Times.

As far as the rest of the posts are concerned, I voted the Democratic ticket. In the Democratic primary however, I voted for the following people:

Mayor: Dan Barlekamp (lost)

Public Advocate: Mark Green (lost)

Comptroller: John Liu (won)

Manhattan Borough President: Scott Stringer (won)

Manhattan District Attorney: Leslie Crocker Snyder (lost)

As far as the rest of the country is concerned, I am hoping Democrats win across the board, though that looks unlikely in Virginia and only God knows what will happen in NJ, but I got a bad feeling. The one place that I am not sure if I want the Democrats to win is that Zany NY 23rd House District Special Election. As brought up by Nate Silver in a recent article, a win by the Conservative Doug Hoffman would embolden Rethugicans to nominate fewer electable centrists and stick to arch-conservatives whose current level electability isn’t sustainable. Also, it wouldn’t really be a loss as it’s likely that the current NY-23rd will get Gerrymandered out of existence come the 2010 Census.

Best of luck as the numbers roll in.

I remember feeling a mix of emotions at all of my elementary school bake sales. My Mom was one of those Moms that was always at school–selling this or painting that. With every bake sale, the thrill that my Mom was there would wane a little, as my little innocent boy heart hardened with a mixture of adolescence and Pillsbury frosting. Though, one thing I never tired of was the gossip she would tell me, whose deadbeat Mother took all the doughnuts home or yelled at a kid for no reason.

Emotions aside, one thing I always remembered about my elementary school bake sales was that I looked forward to them, not because of what was sold, but the very fact that something was being sold. It was the change in routine that we third grade consumers were paying for. What we bought, be it cookies cut from a plastic goo-sausage or a bag of low-salt pretzels, was secondary.

News of Chancellor Klein’s Honduran decree against the freedom to bake has finally reached me here in Bumfuck, PA. I cringe to think about the reactions of already-cash-strapped Principals who seem to have born the brunt of departmental smackdowns in recent months. And while I think I understand the reasoning behind this seemingly random announcement: too much and tardy, Mr. Klein.

Beyond the nitpicky protests about nut allergies and such, the glaring fat kid in the room respect to this issue is America’s obesity epidemic. One of the hardest hit demographics of this epidemic is urban children, even beyond this, nearly 2% of American children attend public school in New York City. Clearly, action by the NYC Department of Ed. was necessary, but not to this degree.

Departmentally speaking, eroding the ability of Principals to set policy for their own school is a dangerous path to follow. Draconian and arbitrary rules, passed down from inaccessible institutional deity doesn’t make for accountable people but rather frustrated, apathetic or antithetical people — certainly not good principals as far as the broader department is concerned. Be it cell phones, tamagotchis or bake sales, an outright ban on anything that isn’t directly dangerous to students or detrimental to their education should only be considered as a last resort (ala: the US Supreme Court case Bethel v. Fraser) and should be employed in the manner least restricting the abilities of principles and the rights of students while remaining effective. (ala the US Supreme Court doctrine of ‘least restrictive means’)

Fiscally speaking, bake sales and the similar genres of fundraising are not only routine for schools but absolutely essential. The money provided by the state is barely enough to cover the essentials for a classroom education at any grade level, let alone extras.

Nurturing a sense of intrinsic motivation should be the objective rather than limiting access. Semantically, immoderation got Americans into this obesity situation and further demonstration of immoderation is counter-productive. It makes food the enemy, much in the same way the opposite sex becomes the enemy in single-sex schools. In both situations, children are never socialized in how to interact with the avoided entity which can result in overindulgence or fearful-celibacy–in food terms: obesity or anorexia.

So, what should the Department of Education do? Act in a gradual and moderate spirit. Rather than an outright ban, encourage or even require the inclusion of healthier foods at bake sales, as mentioned before—it’s the break in routine that is the largest treat, anyway. Teach kids the importance of moderation through early and broadly encompassing health-maintenance education—setting kids up for a time when the need to make their own decisions and to combat the contraband sweets entering in backpacks and lunchboxes. And lastly, practice what you preach and provide healthy and reasonably fresh foods in cafeterias at mealtimes—not that processed slop the Department serves now.

Drastic times do call for drastic measures but that is no excuse for policy reaching beyond the scope of necessity and into the draconian wings. Take a deep breath, moderate yourselves and have a cookie every once in a while.

Mark Sanford, you wonderful man, your Wayne Newton-ly visage has welcomed visitors to my atrophying blog for long enough! I’ll let your stand as stalwart guard at someone else’s webhut, for I am back!

I’ve been enough places and seen enough sights to now be worthy of your blogospheric attention–YES Internets, that means you.

So I’ll make like every rapper on their 2008-2009 album and claim that I, Blogtorious…erm…NIC…K, and I alone am the one who will save the game.